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To be fair, I’ve also learned this by being a black woman.In an effort to preserve sanity, I discovered very early that what is good and beautiful about me doesn’t require external validation.

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My eye color isn’t interesting, and my hair is always feral.

I’m not ugly, but I don’t have much beauty privilege (and make no mistake, beauty privilege yields tangible rewards). “I don’t have to.” [Go ahead, ladies, make the first move.

“You have no idea what it’s like to be called beautiful all the time,” a good friend once remarked.

“It’s like your biggest accomplishment is something you didn’t do yourself.” She wasn’t being rude; I’m not beautiful in the traditional sense.

Being overlooked is unpleasant, but this is where average looks are a gift: They free you from the notion that people should fall at your feet.

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